Beginning to End

The Light of Remembrance.

Catherine Patricia Sia           

     by Robert Amel Sia           


I first met Cathy at the one and only party I threw when I was single. My room-mate Chuck Organic and two girls that live down the hall from us decided to throw a grand party because Chuck and I shared a big three bedroom apartment at Southern Towers in Alexandria Virginia and it was perfect to accommodate a large crowd. Elsie and Nancy had their group of folks they knew, Chuck and I both worked for Control Data but he worked in a different Division so he had his friends and I had mine. Together we chipped in to
finance a party for everyone. Cathy and her brother Frank came uninvited because neither of them really knew Elsie, Nancy, Chuck or me but they just heard of our grand party and came to crash it. Strangely there were many more that did crash it because the word when out all over Southern Towers about our party. No body mind and we all had a great time. Elsie found out that there was a girl at the party that was taking Karate and she knew that I too was going to Choo Ree Karate in D.C. She informed me and pointed Cathy out to me. At that moment, Cathy was the center of attraction surrounded by six or seven guys and talking her head off in spirited conversation. Since I was one of four hosts of the party, I decided to postpone that moment to introduce myself, but I did thought to myself how attractive, striking, and cute Cathy was as she displays her oratory prows as she entertains her male suitors. I went about my business and mingled with
my guests as a host should. Later that evening, the party was winding down and the crowd thinned, I spotted Cathy on our balcony standing next to my room-mate Chuck and many of "my" friend all gathered, talking, and laughing. Now that was a golden moment to introduce myself. I approached her knowing that she took Karate, took a traditional stance in Karate, hollered....     HIIYAA !!!, and said, "No body bother me".Cathy immediately took a similar stance and replied, "No body bother me either". Those two phrases were the
ear mark of the Choo Ree commercials on TV at the time. That was how Cathy and I start our relationship and I remember it to this day.

Our first date was a motorcycle ride in the evening. I had a riding buddy named Mark over in Maryland that I work with at Control Data. I invited Cathy to meet Mark and introduce her to the role of motorcycle mama. Cathy loved to ride and agreed to the date. I picked her up after work and we rode to Mark's
where we met up with all of Mark's riding friends. After the introduction we found out that one of them was having problem with his bike and need time to fix it. Taking the opportunity, I told Mark that Cathy and I were going to grab a bite since neither of us had dinner. We went to a small café down the road and found a quiet table. We began to talk and minutes turned into hours and before we realized, two and a half hours have passed and we hardly touched our food. We jumped on the motorcycle and rode back to Mark's. It was getting dark and everyone was waiting for us. We apologize and everyone was very kind and understanding. They knew that I was on a first date and gave me slack. We rode to Haines Point in D.C. and tool around the waterways. It was great fun. When it was over, Cathy and I spent a little more time there while others left. I told Cathy that I had to work that evening, or after midnight, and that I was in no hurry to take her back. We parked and talked until near midnight when I took her home. That was a fun first date and naturally I asked for a second. I had to take her out to dinner and she accepted.            
Our second date was to Valley's which was a classy steak and lobster place. Again, we talked the whole night away and I don't remember eating any steak or lobster though I did remember paying for them. The conversation with Cathy was effortless. We both recognized our sympatical outlook and beliefs which
caused words to come easily and our dialog leaped from topic to topic. We never ran out of things to say or ideas to share or jokes to laugh about. It was pure magic. I too was in my glory. I didn't think I would find someone this pretty and smart and this much fun to be with. It was magical. When I
took her home that night, I eagerly asked for another date. She said no. She was booked for the next several day. My heart sank and I felt like someone hit me in the pit of my stomach. Cathy quickly added that she was in the process of having furniture delivered and couldn't be away. She then said that she was looking for a rug for her apartment and maybe I could help her find one. Blood returned to my brain and my heart started beating again and I answered, "Great, when would you like to go looking for a rug?" Whew!           
Having traveled extensively over the years, I would still have to say that the absolute best trip was one Cathy and I took to Lake Placid, New York in early December 1974. It was as if God made sure that we had the whole place to ourselves for the entire week. We had no idea that Lake Placid was the chosen place for the Olympic trials that year. We also didn't know that we were one week ahead of the scheduled arrival and opening for the trials. Cathy and I drove up there Friday amidst all the rush hour and traffic withouta care in our hearts because we were going away and we were in love. We arrived at Lake Placid late that night and found the place quiet and peaceful. We checked into a motel that faced the lake and since they were just opening, we had the pick of the place because we were the first guest. We still didn't know about the trials the following week and no one told us because they assume we knew. All the restaurants were opening and our dinning was private though not intended that way. All the tables were empty except ours. It was really nice. That night it snowed, heavily without our knowledge until we woke to a winter wonderland. The morning was beautiful with blue skies and a fresh blanket of pure white snow. The lake was majestic as it
blend seamlessly with the sky accented only by it's white shore lines. Cathy and I dressed and went out for breakfast. We crunched through the snow and found a small café down the street and I remember we had porkchop and eggs with hash browns and coffee. After we ate, we went and explored the town. All
the shops were just opening and there wasn't a soul anywhere except for the shop keepers. It was as if we had the whole town to ourselves. The shop owners were friendly but Cathy and I were too involved with each other to engage in much conversation with them. We spent the whole week exploring the surrounding area while taking in the beauty of the fresh snow and gorgeous weather we had. We visited the ski lodge and wrote messages to each other in the snow. We also drove a small ways out of town and met with a nice old
gentleman ice fishing on one of the adjacent lakes. We spoke with him, I believe his name was Ben, for a while and he was very nice and friendly. Basically, Cathy and I just putted around the rest of the week, enjoying the scenery, enjoying the food, and enjoying each other's company. It was absolutely wonderful. That was the closest time I experienced heaven on earth. The snow lasted the whole week and by the following Friday, there was rain in the forecast. Late Friday night, after dinner, the motel was full of noise with people coming in, footsteps, and doors opening and shutting. The following morning, Cathy and I checked out and there were folks sleeping on the stairs and baggage everywhere in the lobby. What was a peaceful hide-away became a blustering train terminal with bodies spewed out from every corner. Everyone must have had a rough night from too much something....don't know what....don't care. When Cathy and I finally made it outside, to our amazement, all the snow was gone and it was raining. We loaded up the car and
drove out of Lake Placid with memories of the beauty and serenity of the past week which was ours and ours alone. Mother nature made sure that no one shared in what was ours to keep. Cathy and I laughed in wonderment how fate or God gave us such a gift for us to savior and cherish in our thoughts. If someone were to ask,"what do you most like about Cathy?" I would have to say that it's a combination of characteristics, demeanor, and personality that culminates all to a single point of innocence. Cathy could behave in earnest that of a child with the sophistication of an adult. She exhibit the beauty and playful spirit of a four year old while maintaining the dignity and principles of an adult woman. The combination of those dissimilar traits are most endearing and charming. She could be goofy and silly and energetic and spirited. Teasing and prodding and poking and pestering are all repertoires of her "bag of tricks". I have always said that she was fun to be with and that doesn't come close to the actual experience when you're with her. I can safely say that being with Cathy was effortless which is evident by the longevity of our marriage. Like being with a beautiful child with the presence and dignity of a glamorous sophisticated woman. I had the best of both worlds. With all my descriptions of Cathy, I could not have said it better than a 5 year-old at the church where Cathy taught Catechism to small children. The little girl told Cathy that she liked her because Cathy can get "little".
               
Cathy has away had a less than stellar opinion about her looks. I suppose the hardship of a difficult teen years colored her whole impression about herself and self confidence. Boys in school made fun of her and she always looked upon herself as funny-looking. Cathy had no idea how beautiful she was both on the outside and inside. I constantly tried to convince her that she was beautiful but to no vale. Later I took a different approach by telling her she was "cute" and that beauty was skin deep but "cute" was all the way
to the bone. That went over quite well and we maintain that idea for the rest of our marriage. To me she was still the most beautiful creature on earth. Cathy and I spent the next several years becoming a small family raising Chris. Cathy was in her glory because not only did I fulfil all her dreams of a husband, Chris filled all her dreams of a mother. Not surprisingly, those were her two most important things in her mind that she ever hoped for growing up in Queens. She told me many times that she always wanted to find someone that would love her equally, marry and to raise a family of her own. That final dream came true with the birth of Christopher. What made it really special was that Chris was such a beautiful baby that it propelled Cathy into
the stratosphere of happiness. I can't remember a time of utter joy that compared, except those two times when Cathy became a grandmother to Devin and Gwynne. She was so happy with D & G that her expectations went beyond the limits of reality. Sadly reality failed to deliver and she was subject to
disappointment.        

Cathy was the type of person that embodied all that is good, fair, and true. Cathy never wanted to hurt anything or anyone. She never had it in her to retaliate, to strike out, to even the score, or seek revenge. She just wasn't the type and she didn't have a mean streak in her at all. When she is exposed to adversity, her first reaction is to withdrawn or retreat. More times than none, she favors running away rather than stay and fight. However, if for any reason when the stakes are high, you will see another side of her that carries the fire and brimstone of her Sicilian heritage. Harm her babies, she'll eat your face and rip your heart out. I saw a lot of appeal in that trait of her's. It fed into the violent side of my nature. Cathy and I were very close. I think back, except for work, we did everything together. There were never a moment from either of us when we wanted to do things by ourselves. However, over the years we did discover that there are things that only appealed to one or the other which resulted in us doing it by ourselves. Cathy wanted to go to adoration at the church, which I had no interest and I like gun shows which she found it wearisome. These are examples of things we did without each other. Though not frequent, things came up where we went solo and for the same reasons. When I think of Cathy, what comes to mind is an angel. Not a perfect angel, but one closer than anyone I know on earth. Cathy has human frailties which we all exhibit, but hers were far less benign and harmless to anyone except to herself. She was an angel none the less. She saw the good in everyone and
she loved with all her heart and her love was genuine. When she gave, she gave all she could, and when asked to do something, she would give above and beyond what was required. Her only fault was she sometimes reacted too strongly to circumstances that others would ignore and she put too much trust
in those that are unaware of what she valued. Her sensitivity to specific issues coupled with her mild temperament and benevolent nature was a toxic cocktail that was consumed too much and too often. Like an alcoholic, the juice of unhappiness has consequences and in Cathy's case, it was her health. She suffered a multitude of ailments over the years and was in and out of doctor's office more times than I care to remember. No one knew the pain she suffered and the degree. No one except yours truly. I watched and endured right along with her. Where the glioma came from no one knows and even the doctors with all their knowledge didn't have a clue. Her final ailment was her demise and it took her in six months after the diagnosis. I long for Cathy every day. I miss her terrible. Her touch, her kiss, her smile, her warmth, her being. I miss the essence of her presence. She was my life, she was my love, my purpose, my light shining through the darkness, she was my everything.

RIP my Love.