Year TEN

I search the gospels for the truth, Yet all my efforts fail. All the words written in symbolism, They read like a fairytale. Sitting quietly, devoid of sound Ignoring visions from all around. Emptying my mind of frivolous thoughts, Encouraging answers that silence have brought. Though truth reluctant be not yet given, I sit eagerly in a wait. Darkness descends, emptiness widens, Wondering what be my fate. I search the gospels for guidance, Though little have I resolved. The more I've tried, the more I push, Answers come in a whisperer or hush. I know there's Beauty in this world, Fortunate am I to have experienced. Also have I witnessed the ugly, The vile, the repulsive demonic appearances. There are more than ample institution of learning all around, But wisdom bears little meaning when knowledge Rest on unstable grounds. I seek for truth and righteousness, and vow that I persevere. Praying to God through pain and sorrow, that I'd be blessed with enlightenment here. Life offers strange challenges to all of us. I've come to realize that there are consequences for every step we take and every choice we make. There are even consequences for standing still. Every treasure we find and every opportunity grasp or miss. There are no free lunches though sometimes it appears so. There are consequences for everything we do, good or bad. Why dear Lord do most if not all of us arrive at the precipice of our life's Journey like automobiles at a junkyard. With two flat tires, broken or missing headlights, not all cylinders firing, with bent chassis and rust throughout the body. Unable to shift into higher gears and fluids leaking from our tailpipes. Why dear Lord? Planned obsolescence perhaps? The road of life ends for all of us, be it a cliff, a wall or a dark murky swamp. Death is the ultimate conclusion of life, regardless of status, achievement, or wealth. It pays no favors, it gives no alms and above all implacable. It has been 10 years since that Infamous day in September. I remember that day when her soul left her body. It's as clear and fresh in my mind as if yesterday. God how I miss her, I miss her dearly. I have prayed ever since that day that God grant me my one wish. Cathy and I both felt we met in a previous life. The familiarity was inexplicable. I deeply yearn for another encounter. By his grace and reluctant mercy I can only hope he answers my prayer.